Do Your Eyes Light Up?

I see it every day at work. Busy stressed out parents on their phones.  Now this isn't a post about the overuse and obsession our culture has with our smart phones. But yesterday as I sat at the "welcome desk" at work and saw parent after parent pick up their child with their ear glued to their phone my heart broke. Yes, I understand all too well the fact that some parents have to be on their phones. Patients, clients and families depend on their quick response to calls. I know that many of these parents have very important jobs in which life hangs in jeopardy at times and they must answer the call. But yet my heart breaks when I see parents pick up their children with a half hearted "hello how was your day?" While their attention is divided. Sometimes not even looking at their child as the hurriedly rush them out the door. Even when they aren't answering a call their eyes are glued to a little screen and their child fights for their attention.

I heard a quote from Maya Angelou years ago which has shaped my work and calling as a social worker who works with children. Yet it wasn't till I became a parent that the quote started to have true meaning.

"Do your eyes light up when you child or any child walks into a room?" 

In typical Maya Angelou style, the quote pierces the heart. It is a quote I repeat in my head daily as I walk into Addysons room each morning to get her up. "Do your eyes light up?" 

When I worked as a child and family therapist it was the basis of my work. As I walked into the lobby to great a client, a hurting family, a hopeless teen, a broken spirit; I made sure my eyes lit up. Seeing a child,  my child, or any child...I make sure my eyes light up. This involves somuch  more than a customary hello informality. It is the joy of seeing that child that is evident in your eyes. It is love. It is compassion.

Finding out I was pregnant was shocking and exciting, but till I held my precious newborn miracle in my arms I hadn't truly lived. I'll never forget the moment in the delivery room when the drill sergeant nurse told Andy to "hold a leg". We laugh about it now, but it was in those moments of labor that I truly felt delivered of all the fears and worries I carried with me for the 9 months of pregnancy. The questions of "is this for real?" "Will I actually hold my baby here on earth or in heaven?" were honest questions that I never confessed out loud. Andy "held a leg" and was the first to lay eyes on our miracle baby. He saw her enter this world and I saw it...his eyes lit up. As they handed addyson to me all I could say was "thank you." It was as if in that miraculous moment the Lord was right there and I couldn't help but thank Him. 

So when I see parents with their children and after hours of not seeing their child they can't cut a phone call short or respond to that email later, my heart hurts. I hurt for the child who wants their parents attention and I hurt for the parent who is missing the opportunity to truly see their child. To show their child the joy and excitement they have in seeing them after the hours of being a part. 

My boss understands this concept. Although I'm not sure if she is familiar with the Maya Angelou quote she definitly understands the concept of lit up eyes. When she sees her son, who also attends our school, her eyes light up. She has genuine joy and excitement to see him. And it doesn't matter what she is doing at the time she stops and greets him with love and excitement. She gets it! 

So my question is "do your eyes light up?" If you work with kids, do your eyes light up when you see them? If you are a teacher do your eyes light up when those students come into your classroom? Yes, even the one who you secretly wish could be absent...your eyes may be the only eyes that he sees light up. So do your eyes light up? Tired, sleep deprived mama...do your eyes light up?

As I get ready to go into work...I'm counting down the hours till I get to see my precious miracle baby tonight. Till I see her, my eyes will light up when I see the children at school. Tonight when I see my Addyson, my eyes will light up. Seeing her keeps me fully present in the moment each day!