I don't know why I let myself get stuck in these bad moods. They are so unproductive, not to mention pretty unpleasant for those around me. Sometimes they stem from the injustices of the world or the result of comparison. Whatever the culprit, pity parties suck the life and joy right out of you.
I know that there are times when the occasional hysterical cry is necessary and maybe even times when it is beneficial, but overall pity parties aren't very helpful. They don't change anything and certainly don't miraculously make life happier. They are joy stealers and if more women recognized the awful power pity parties have over our lives we would think twice about slipping into the sinking sand of self pity.
My pity parties usually start because I'm tired, hangry (did you know that's a real thing now? It's when you are so hungry your angry and cranky) or I'm comparing myself others...and sometimes all of the above. Why do I let myself get stuck feeling sorry for myself?
Yesterday I found myself alone crying in my car because my hubby and daughter took a trip to the mall and went to Build a Bear without me. Every Friday they have "Daddy Addy time" which usually involves chic fil a, a trip to the comic book store and going to a park or the zoo when it is nice outside. I love that they spend this time together, don't get me wrong, it is an oh so valuable time of modeling healthy relationships but my mommy guilt got the best of me yesterday and I threw a pity party right there on I 65 south. This week I have had to work more hours and just feel like I have missed out on spending time with my family. The pity party commenced and I pulled myself together in time to pull into my parking spot. We had pizza delivered and built towers with blocks and then had a couch night. My pity party didn't fix anything or change the fact that I have to work outside the home. So why even bother?
More and more I see the selfishness of having pity parties. Yet people are having them everywhere. You don't like something about church you throw a pity party..."no one talks to me"...."I don't like the music"..."I get nothing out of the sermon"...blah blah blah stop the pity party.
We do it about our appearance..."my clothes don't fit"..."I hate my hair"... "my purse doesn't have a name on it and cost a rediculous amount of money so I'm not cool"...wah wah wah, pity party in full swing.
I think us moms are the worst! We compare ourselves to other moms and our kids to other kids. We feel guilty about everything. We are too busy yet can't say no...we complain about not having friends...and so on and so on. Yet this is the life we wanted....so why the pity party? I think we all want and crave to hear things like "I don't know how you do it" or "you are so amazing". We compare ourselves to others yet don't take personal reaponsibility for our own "stuff".
I know im taking the risk in offending everyone who reads this blog but I'm guilty too! So I'm starting a revolution, call it a sunshine revolution.
About a year ago I was feeling super sorry for myself and really just wanted to go sit at the beach, a place of peace and relaxation. No longer living in sunny florida I realized I was having quite the pity party and needed to get my focus off of me and needed to do something for someone else. And so the sunshine kit was born...something so simple yet so special at the same time. So on days that I find myself having a pity party I make a sunshine kit.
A sunshine kit is a small box full of all things yellow. It's designed to brighten someone's day and I usually make them for a friend I know is legitimately going through a difficult time. A little box of cheer for someone else has been the best cure for my pity party blues. Best of all my sunshine kits are ment to be refilled and passed on to someone else. It's a sunshine revolution! It's funny how pity parties and sunshine kits can really force a person to be fully present in the moment. Who do you know that needs a little sunshine?
No comments:
Post a Comment