Leftovers

I hate leftovers. I know some people love them and there are even the few that claim some leftover meals are better the next day. I disagree. I hate leftovers, always have and always will.

My parents left today after visiting and as I talked to my mom on her drive home I mentioned we were having leftovers for dinner. She said "oh you have lots of cheese and some hamburg meat in your frige you should make nachos for a quick meal." I started laughing and tried to dismiss it. Yet she insisted describing the yummy nachos I should make for dinner. I stopped her abruptly and said "please tell me you didn't eat any of that hamburg meat." I'm still laughing and she asked "why?" In between my laughing I said "this is embarrassing but that meat is leftover from New Year's Eve when we had friends over for a taco night." She gasped in true motherly fashion and I just laughed...the truth was out. My distain for leftovers and cleaning the frige was out. Then to my horror she said "I was going to give Addyson some of that meat, good thing I didn't." Yikes! I think the growing mold would have stopped her for sure.

I'm embarrassed to tell the world, or at least the handful of people that read my blog that I have leftovers from New Year's Eve in my refrigerator. Yes, this OCD germ freak has mysteroous science experimental mold growing in my fridge in the form of old taco meat. I just hate looking at leftover and usually end up throwing away the contents and container months after enjoying a meal.

This got me thinking about how guilty I am of only having leftovers to give. 

So often we give God our leftovers. At the end of a long day I struggle to do devotions and fall asleep while praying. We come to church after a long week expecting the music or sermon to "speak" to us and we bring God our leftovers. We don't come in a spirit of worship because we have spent all week living a life of worship , no all our energy has been spent on other things. Leftovers.

We do it in marriage. Giving attention to jobs, coworkers and kids and then have no energy for our spouse. I know I'm guilty...we often end the day laying on the couch hubby on his iPad and me on my iPhone too exhausted to do anything but aimlessly play online. Leftovers.

We do it at work. So exhausted from all the stuff we have to do and too overwhelmed from life that all we have to give is leftovers. I find myself trying to do too much or trying so hard to impress people that I have nothing left to give. Leftovers.

It even happens with our parenting. This one hits me hard and breaks my heart that I'm guilty of giving my miracle baby my leftovers. Somedays I'm so tired of teaching, working, and ministry that my energy is zapped. These are the times that she has to say "mama" over and over again to get my attention. Or when im not being intentional about spending time with her.... I hate when I catch myself looking at emails and Instagram while she asks me to play or have a picnic repeatedly all while looking up at me  and seeing me looking at my phone and not her. Ouch. Leftovers.

Way too often all I have left for myself is leftovers. Busyness becomes an excuse for not exercising. Money or lack there of is to blame for not eatting right. Failure to meal plan in advanced leads to eatting too many meals out and not around the dinner table at home as a family. Misguided priorities prevent me from healthy self-care and spending time in solitude. Mommy guilt is a huge barrier to having much needed "me time" or spending time with friends. All of the above leave me with leftovers.

Leftovers are gross. They smell and they are never as good as the original. They get moldy and sit stagnet for too long. 

 For almost 40 days now I have been studying with the Goodmorning Girls on being Intentionally Focused. It is has been a life changing way of studying the word. Each day there are scripture readings and a verse to write. I am using a planner as a journal to keep my study organized and as a prayer journal. We are using the SOAP method (scripture, observation, application, prayer) and it has made the Word come alive in a new way for me. I am excited to read each passage and spend quiet time with my God. 

The concept behind Good morning Girls is to have intentional quiet time with The Lord. It is an online bible study community of like minded women who are seeking The Lord. It has blessed me in many ways. This study has helped renew my focus and I am even more determined now to get rid of the leftovers in my life (and fridge) and be fully present in the moment!