It Never Ends

The other morning after doing my fourth load of laundry while staring at a pile of towels still needing to be washed, I said out loud to myself "it never ends." It wasn't even 11 am and I had already navigated through a toddler temper tantrum, sweeping up cocoa krispies off my freshly washed kitchen floor and endless emails from work. The "it never ends" theme flooded my mind all morning.

So this blog post is long overdue because well...the job of a mom never ends. I kept thinking "it never ends"...  the following things came to mind...

-bills

-laundry

-temper tantrums

-stepping over toys that I just cleaned up

-people complaining about stupid things

-work emails

-deadlines

-keeping the house clean

-pressures of perfection

So many thoughts flooding my already overly tired mommy brain and The Lord quieted my heart, mind and body when my miracle baby, well now two year old, toddler said in her little voice "mama come here". I bent down and she turned my head away from her and whispered in my ear "love you mama". 

In that moment none of the mornings tasks, my endless to do list, the ever growing grocery list, the emails, the dirty floor and my need for perfection ceased. It was in that quiet moment of Addyson whispering in my ear that the Lords voice was so loud in my mind and I was reminded, "it never ends". Gods love for us is never ending. There is nothing I can do or not do that will stop God from loving me. Just like I love my daughter through temper tantrum and spills, God loves me, His daughter, through my anger, disbelief, and questions. God's love for me (and you!) never ends.

From that point forward my perspective has changed. Doing what seems like endless loads of laundry I am thankful for a washer and dryer. When addyson acts like the two year old she is, I love her through the tantrum, often holding her close or giving her space. Just like my God does for me. When I'm questioning how the money will last all month, choosing which bills are more of a priority to pay, I remember a time when there wasn't money coming in and I thank Him. When I find myself cooking spaghetti for dinner (my we have no food in the house last resort meal) I think about the month I spent doing disaster response in Iowa and eatting Red Cross meals out of a truck sitting besides people who had lost every earthly possession they owned. When the work emails overwhelm me I say a quiet thank you for God providing me with a job. And when the OCD thoughts rage inside me I worship through music or recitng scriptures.

Gods love, it never ends! This is the truth that is helping me be fully present in the moment this week.