Tales From the Toilet & Other Lessons Learned from Potty Training

A couple weeks ago we began the much dreaded potty training task with our toddler. I will openly admit that this is the parenting task/stage that I am the most intimidated by. I have talked to veteran moms about my "I'm gonna mess her up for good" fears and they have all reassured me that I won't. I've read and re-read parenting blogs, toilet training tips, books and articles. I work in a school with potty training gurus. And yet it is still intimidating, frightening and nerve wracking. So I braved Babies R Us purchased two princess potty seats, "big girl" undies and an industrial size bag of M&Ms.

 Yes, I know many veteran moms will read this and think, "Ha! You just wait...potty training is easy compared to __________ (fill in the blank). But for this OCD Mama potty training scares me. Regardless of my fears and phobias if I survived cloth diapering, I can handle this right?

 Over the past two weeks (which feel like years) I have learned a thing or two about potty training. I also find it a little ironic that I would dare to take on this parenting challenge while my hubby is at camp for two weeks. Perhaps this is an addition to last years blog post Top 10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was At Junior High Camp. 

Let me first begin by saying that I have now seen nearly every restroom in the greater Nashville area as my precious toddler wants to look at every bathroom everywhere we go. Tonight when we walked into a bathroom she hadn't been in before and she immediately said "o it's amazing." Let me tell you there was nothing amazing about this particular restroom. But to my princess in training, she was amazed. I can tell you which restaurant has a clean bathroom, which gas station potty to avoid and when it is necessary to wait till we get home. Yet I have learned that when your toddler says they gotta go...there's a 50/50 chance they will go...so even if you are mid bite or on the phone you drop everything and run to the potty.

This OCD Mama has had to set my fears, phobias and intrusive thoughts aside as we have embraced pull ups, princess undies and potty treats. I avoid going to the bathroom in public places at all costs. They are breading grounds for all kinds of bacteria, germs and disease, but when you are potty training a toddler all that has to be ignored.  I have learned that these days we run to the potty every chance we get in hopes of having a dry pull up or undies. Our goal is to keep the princess undies dry and get a treat. No easy task for the OCD Mama.

I can now proudly whip out the fold and go potty seat (they are worth every penny) in record time, juggling a squirmy toddler, purse, backpack all while repeatedly saying "don't touch anything" to my very curious tot. Yet there is no way I can keep the obsessive thoughts at bay. They swarm around in my mind like bees overtake their hive. It's as if each thing she touches will lead to my  "worst case scenario" thought coming true. These obsessive thoughts cause the compulsive desires to engage in battle.  But I am learning to leave the OCD Mama at the door and be a Fully Present Mama.

So I find myself in broken record fashion saying "don't touch", "that's gross", "that's really yucky" to my miracle baby. As if my heart is outside my body in the most germ filled place just waiting to be attacked. And yet my Addyson finds these interactions exciting. She giggles and squeals with glee as she sits on her Cars Potty seat (it was the only fold and go one I could find). She  is so proud of herself when she pees and poops in the potty which is rewarded with an M&M. Even when she doesn't go, she simply states "we'll try again". Her lighthearted attitude and ability to go with the flow (no pun intended) helps me conquer this new milestone. I am learning that my OCD is mine and not hers. I can't and won't put my fears onto her.

Through this potty training journey I have also learned the importance of P.P (pun intended). Patience and Practice have become my mantra. I often have to remind myself that I must be patent and Addyson must practice. Potty training, like any new skill takes time and practice.

The other thing I have learned as weird as it is, is I have to be thankful for the accidents. You see one of the many things I have learned from working where I do is that to me potty training may be my biggest parenting woe, but for some parents they only wish their child would reach this milestone. I really believe that we as parents must become more aware of the things we say. We have to realize that every child is different. For some parents they will forever be changing diapers. So I have to remind myself to be fully present in the moment sometimes means being grateful for the good and the bad, for my worst day could be some parents best day ever.

I am also finding myself having to laugh through this chore  journey. For instance when I use the rest room and addyson tells everyone how stinky it was. Or the time that she cheered and told me I could get a treat. But my favorite has to be when she puts her hand to her ear and listens for her pee pee to come out saying "hear it mama?"

So if you're in a public restroom in the near future and you hear a toddler voice belt out the chorus of "Let it Go" that would be my miracle baby.  And yes, I usually sing along in hope that she will indeed "let it go" in the potty.  Here's to being fully present in the moment!