Saturday, March 15, 2014

A letter to parents of children with OCD

Dear Mom and Dad,

First of all thank you for loving me. Thank you for being parents who cared. Thank you for caring enough to know when your love alone would not pull me from the dark place I was in. Thank you for rejoicing with me as I walked out of the darkness and into the light.

Mom and Dad, I want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know that my OCD is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it and there is nothing you could have done to change it. You loved me through it, but your love alone couldn't fix it. You knew when I needed more than your love and you took me to get help. 

Mom and Dad, thank you for teaching me that I am a child of God and that He doesn't make mistakes. My OCD isn't a mistake and God knew exactly what He was doing when he created me. Thank you for showing me God's love. You knew that you couldn't pray away my OCD but you prayed for a way for God to  use me, His child and He is! Thank you for praying.

Mom and Dad, you held me close before every overnight trip away from my safe place of home. You even came and picked me up when the sleepover wasn't over yet because I wanted to come home. As a teenager you sat with me and heard me cry about being afraid I would get sick and you helped me make a plan of what to do if I did. You told me I wouldn't get sick and even though I didn't believe you, it helped me leave and discover new things. You even exposed me to another country before I even knew what OCD was and it was there that I learned that God is wherever I am and He will never leave me. 

Dad, when I was a kid you came in with a big trash bag and helped me clean my room of all my stuff and that taught me that sometimes I need a clean slate, a do over and that fresh starts are okay. Most importantly Dad, you are the one who told me that I have to be fully present in the moment if I ever want to be happy.

Mom, you are the one who would wipe me tears when I cried about no one ever loving me let alone asking me out on a date. I know it's your job to tell me I'm beautiful but thanks for saying it again and again. 

Mom and Dad, thanks for coming to my first apartment, packing it all up and moving it when the thought of another change was too overwhelming. Thank you for saying you would help and actually being there to help. Thank you for coming over to my new place and opening the blinds to let the light in. Thank you for not letting it be an option to stay home alone even though I wanted to. Thank you for the countless meals out after long days at work. Thank you for laughing with me, at me, and helping me learn to laugh at myself. Thank you for encouraging me to take medicine and making it not a big deal.  Thank you for asking me periodically  if I'm still taking it and if it is working. Thank you for gently yet firmly telling me when you think I need to go talk to a counselor because talking to you isn't enough to get me back on track. Thank you for walking beside me when for every step forward I took there were times I took two steps backwards. You never left my side and I'm so grateful. Mom and Dad, it's okay to tell me to snap out of it every once in a while but thank you for knowing it's not that easy and being patient when I couldn't just snap out of it.

Mom and Dad, thank you for not being shocked, mad, disappointed or blaming me for my OCD. Thank you for loving me,encouraging  me, crying with me, and praying for me.Thank you for the laughter that filled our home and the genuiness that you always show. Thank you for not letting me marry that one guy, you know, the one who didn't understand my uniqueness. Thank you for telling my hubby-to-be that family was important and that when he married me he got all that came with it...family that sticks together. Thank you for being active in my life even though I'm married and have a daughter of my own. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone.

Most of all Mom and Dad, thank you for showing me what it means to be fully present in the moment. I love you!

Your daughter with OCD.



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