Two years ago today I was in the hospital waiting. Waiting for the birth of my miracle baby. Even though I was told I would not be able to get pregnant and have children, I lay there in waiting. Waiting is hard, but even harder whenyou are facing fears and the unknown, hard when you await something you have always wanted.
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of being a mommy. And two years ago tonight I was preparing to become a mommy. When I found out I was pregnant I was already close to my second trimester unbeknownst to me. The doctors had no medical explanation for my pregnancy. Immediatly I said I didn't need a medical explanation because I knew this baby was a miracle and a blessing from God.
Two years ago tonight I lay in a hospital bed waiting to be induced, I lay there alone. Andy had to leave me at the hospital to go home and let out our dog and bring the hospital bag. He rushed home and I anxiously lay in the deivery room waiting. Facing one of my fears and doing so alone I was overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord. It was clear as could be that the Lord's presence washed over me and filled that room. Even in my lonliness, worry, and anxiety the Lord continued to bring scripture to my mind. Instead of my mind being filled with fears, what ifs, and obsessive thoughts, my mind was a place of peace, rest and scripture. "Be strong and take courage, for the Lord God is with you." "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Throughout the night, as I was induced, I drifted between sleep, feeling contractions that increased as the hours passed.
Two years ago tonight I was selfish and didn't know what I was capable of. I doubted my own potential and on August 23, 2011 I gave birth to Addyson Rayne Barnette, and that's when life began. When I held my newborn baby I experienced joy for the first time ever. Joy knowing that the impossible was possible.
Two years ago today I didn't know how my life would change. I didn't know that my heart would experience love like the love I instantly had for Addyson. Love that would cause me to wake up every two hours to feed my tiny baby. Love that grew from a love that began when I feel in love with Andy. Love that multiplies when I see Andy care for, tickle, and pray with Addyson each night.
Two years ago tonight I was only known as Ashley. Now I'm known as Addyson's mom. That is an identity that I joyfully embrace...even when I feel the mommy guilt for leaving to go to work, struggle with patience in the midst of temper tantrums, long sleepless nights, and seeing Addyson take more and more steps towards independance. I am grateful for the struggle of getting pregnant. I am grateful for the pregnancy and childbirth experience (especially after the epidural). I am grateful for the struggle, because I cherish the gift of being Addyson's mama.
Two years ago tonight I became Addyon's mom and life will never be the same again!
Fully present in the moment!!!!
Two years ago today I was in the hospital waiting. Waiting for the birth of my miracle baby. Even though I was told I would not be able to get pregnant and have children, I lay there in waiting. Waiting is hard, but even harder whenyou are facing fears and the unknown, hard when you await something you have always wanted.
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of being a mommy. And two years ago tonight I was preparing to become a mommy. When I found out I was pregnant I was already close to my second trimester unbeknownst to me. The doctors had no medical explanation for my pregnancy. Immediatly I said I didn't need a medical explanation because I knew this baby was a miracle and a blessing from God.
Two years ago tonight I lay in a hospital bed waiting to be induced, I lay there alone. Andy had to leave me at the hospital to go home and let out our dog and bring the hospital bag. He rushed home and I anxiously lay in the deivery room waiting. Facing one of my fears and doing so alone I was overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord. It was clear as could be that the Lord's presence washed over me and filled that room. Even in my lonliness, worry, and anxiety the Lord continued to bring scripture to my mind. Instead of my mind being filled with fears, what ifs, and obsessive thoughts, my mind was a place of peace, rest and scripture. "Be strong and take courage, for the Lord God is with you." "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Throughout the night, as I was induced, I drifted between sleep, feeling contractions that increased as the hours passed.
Two years ago tonight I was selfish and didn't know what I was capable of. I doubted my own potential and on August 23, 2011 I gave birth to Addyson Rayne Barnette, and that's when life began. When I held my newborn baby I experienced joy for the first time ever. Joy knowing that the impossible was possible.
Two years ago today I didn't know how my life would change. I didn't know that my heart would experience love like the love I instantly had for Addyson. Love that would cause me to wake up every two hours to feed my tiny baby. Love that grew from a love that began when I feel in love with Andy. Love that multiplies when I see Andy care for, tickle, and pray with Addyson each night.
Two years ago tonight I was only known as Ashley. Now I'm known as Addyson's mom. That is an identity that I joyfully embrace...even when I feel the mommy guilt for leaving to go to work, struggle with patience in the midst of temper tantrums, long sleepless nights, and seeing Addyson take more and more steps towards independance. I am grateful for the struggle of getting pregnant. I am grateful for the pregnancy and childbirth experience (especially after the epidural). I am grateful for the struggle, because I cherish the gift of being Addyson's mama.
Two years ago tonight I became Addyon's mom and life will never be the same again!
Fully present in the moment!!!!
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