Stairs happen to be one of my hidden OCD downfalls (no pun intended). It wasn't until the peak of my OCD struggles that I even was fully aware of how problematic counting had become. I remember standing in a stairway in the School of Social Work building at the University of Michigan while my friends were all talking and walking down the stairs. It was as if I was frozen in place. One friend asked me a question and turned around when I didn't answer. I was frozen because I was counting. Counting the steps. They were all still talking and had moved down the steps. I asked my fellow social work buddy if she thought it was weird that I count steps. She said "just a little" and laughed nonchalantly. The ironic thing is we were leaving our Mental Health and Mental Disorders class.
Yesterdays stair tripping incident made me think of that day in grad school. It's funny how something like tripping up the stairs reminded me of how far I have come. I am grateful for the progress I have made and the growth I am seeing in my own life. Yet, i realise that I am just one stair away from tripping up. It's kind of funny hod God speaks to me sometimes. It was as if He said "just keep going, don't look back." I didn't want to look back afraid everyone saw my clumsy moment, but it is too often when we face challenging times we look back more than we look forward.
I don't know what you are facing today, but you are not alone. For so many years I hid parts of my life ashamed and embarrassed of what other would think of me. The more I share my story, the more I hear challenging stories from other people. We all have things in our lives we try to hide or avoid. I don't know what kind of worries or fears you face but be encouraged and keep moving forward. I have been reminded time and time again about this promise in 2 Timothy 1:7 and it is one of the verses that I cling to in moments of fear.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
Today I will choose to cling to God's power and love and be fully present in the moment.
Nicholas had this as his memory verse this week at bible school. The theme was facing fear and trusting God. As we were learning his memory verse it really ministered to my heart. It reminded me of God's never ending love for our family over these past few months. Thank you for your willingness to open up your heart and share with unabandoned honesty. Your blog is helping me deal worth the demons I am facing and the fears that I face. So thankful to have you in my life.
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