Confessions of a Youth Pastor's Wife

Never say never. When I was a teenager I remember saying I'm never gonna marry a pastor when I grow up. More dangerous words were never spoken. Let me tell ya that's crazy talk folks. Never say never cause that may be the exact thing God has planned for your life and that's exactly what happened to me.

It hit me last night while worshiping with 6,500 teenagers that this is what I said I didn't want as a teenager. I didn't want to marry a pastor, and that's exactly what happened. Kinda funny how God works.  As I stood besides my youth pastor hubby and our teens singing "we just want to see you move, Lord do what you want to, do what you want to do." We sang words like "Lord I come, and I confess, bowing here I find my rest. Lord I need you, oh I need you. Every hour I need you." What an unforgettable experience and truly the cry of my heart.

Averaging five hours a sleep each night this week brings a whole new meaning to the words "I need you, every hour I need you." They say confession is good for the soul, so this tired youth pastors wife has a few things to confess.

-I hate icebreaker and group games. I understand the point behind these "getting to know you" youth group staples but this introvert can't handle it and so I will be on the sidelines with the other introverts who hate the games.

-I actually love pizza for dinner but not when it comes from the place that gives churches a "good deal" and is served cold and has been touched by hands that have been who knows where.

-The youth budget is never big enough and we usually end up spending way more money out of pocket to make that event happen than our personal budget can handle.

-Parents, when you complain that trips cost too much money or want to know when the next fundraiser is I totally get it. I'm pinching pennies too and I'm right here fundraising because my way isn't paid for...but we have to have a female sponsor...so I'm fundraising right there with you. So please stop complaining.

-On youth trips I get up super early. Sometimes this is the only way to guarantee a hot shower but I gullet up before the other girls mainly because I spend these quiet moments of the morning alone praying for our teens by name.

 

-As a youth pastors wife I have to confess there are times in youth ministry when it would be so much easier to just stay home. The human, overly tired side of me often has to bite my tongue, count to 10 or look for the closest Starbucks. I love teens anyways. I love them despite of their negativity, silly fads, and complaining. I just love and drink lots of coffee.

-Sometimes I get more out of the message than any of our teens. I'm always so proud of my hubby when I hear him speak from the heart. He has a heart that loves God and loves others. 

-My hubby has way more patience with teenagers than I do. He knows how to get them all pumped up, how to plan a great event on a shoestring budget. He can fill up water balloons, gets excited about meeting teens and eating sushi and mentoring them over a cup of coffee. He will stop what he's doing and answer their texts, he goes to their games, plays and even dance recitals. I am a little embarrassed to admit that sometimes I think I can do his job better, but reality is that I can't. I can't even come close because God called him to this ministry, not me. As his wife I want to support him even when I want to run far away from junior highers I stand with him.

-I see the hurt and pain that comes with the unseen hidden sides of youth ministry. I cry and hurt when I hear the stories of the broken parts of teenagers lives. When they confide in me and tell me things they don't want anyone to know. When my hubby questions if that event was fun enough, when he feels dissapointed in the number of teens there on wednesdsy and when he gets frustrated with the youth workers who just stop coming or when parents complain. We hurt too. And we often don't have someone to confide in and complain to. So sometimes we hold it all in. Sometimes we quit doing ministry all together and sometimes we hang on for dear life. Sometimes I get to sit down with other youth pastors wives and hear their stories, cry with them and then say "just keep moving forward".

So on the last night of this youth trip I'm asking that if you are reading this you would pray for me and all the fellow youth pastors wives out there. Pray for us and our husbands, pray we keep moving forward. Pray we show Gods love in a real authentic life changing way to the teens around us. We could use a little sleep, patience, and a Carmel macchiato wouldn't hurt.

Here's to being fully present in the moment even with bags under my eyes.