Invisible People

Have you ever looked around to see the invisible people around you? They are in our churches, restaurants, grocery store, shopping in Target, maybe even in your own home. Sometimes they fade into the background of life. They may be quiet, not drawing attention to themselves or maybe they are the center of attention but not really seen. Tonight for the first time I really looked at my surroundings and saw the invisible people. I saw people that don't fit with the "in" crowd, maybe they don't dress in the latest style or have the nicest clothes, car or maybe they don't even have the nicest personality. But our world is full of invisible people. They are hurting, hiding and hoping that someone would acknowledge them. And I'll be the first to admit I'm guilty....

Guilty of ignoring them, avoiding them, gossiping about them and yes, even laughing at them. The sad thing is that sometimes I'm the invisible person. Yup, sometimes I feel like an invisible person even if surrounded by a crowd of people. You see one of the down sides of my current place of ministry, is that my husband and I have found ourselves smack dab in a church and community of affluence. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb... we are the opposite of affluent. We struggle to pay bills, I reluctantly work to help make ends meet, we have tons of school loan debt and we live in the smallest house amongst our circle of friends. We seem to have the worst luck with cars which adds to a mound of stress. Yet we are so blessed. We are grateful for what we have and love to give to others even if it means we won't have that little extra. It is so hard to be in an affluent community and not be affluent. I want to fit in just like everybody else and I sometimes fall prey to comparisons, greed and ungratefulness. I feel like at times, yes, even at church I am the invisible person. I'm not afraid to admit it but sometimes I want to be invisible, avoiding people to hide the pain I feel or maybe just afraid that if people see the real me they will see all the crazy parts and run in the opposite direction.

This is when OCD starts to rear it's ugly head. The chaos of my mind and thoughts of germs, illness, getting sick, and a need to be clean and germ free haunt me like a scary movie. This is when the counting begins. Counting steps, counting letters, words, signs; anything to avoid the fear. Trying to put my best face forward or keeping the happy face, I'm metaphorically forced into the dark. This darkness begins with counting. The counting leads to cleaning, which leads to organizing, which leads quickly to labeling which leads to more cleaning, which leads to obsessing more. The OCD roller coaster continues till I crash. Sometimes literally, my body crashes and I get sick or just sleep. Other times my loving husband stops the ride and reassures me of the truth.

Seeking the truth and experiencing freedom in Christ has been and will always be a process and a choice. In seeking Him, I am choosing to see beyond myself and to see the invisible people.

 It broke my heart tonight as I enjoyed fellowship with my church family at a mini golf outing to see for the first time an invisible person. She sat on the outskirt of "the group". A group of young, hip and appearing to be happy women; none of which acknowledged her. I was shocked to observe this and convicted.

Tonight I am deciding to no longer ignore the invisible people around me. I want to acknowledge them, encourage them and really see them! I want to speak hope into their lives. I am choosing to be so fully present in the moment that I see the invisible people around me.